Brad Pit Update
We are pleased to announce that work may resume on long awaited
upgrades to the Brad Pit. ECF management has hired a local contracting
company,
The Baja Beaver Brothers to make needed repairs and bring our
plumbing into code compliance. You will remember that with flushing
many of
the pipes in the main complex revealed a lack of Morse capacity
despite the claims of several guests that "We're getting messages
from long dead relatives."
Contractor Stan Dingwater will be on
site throughout August preparing blueprints for our new water
backup system.
ECF Poultry Wins at Fair
Owner/Operator Chris Schram won a coveted blue ribbon for his finely
feathered cock at the annual Curry County Livestock Fair. He
also took second in the Loudest Crow division. Chris will be
happy to
sign autographs
and can be found resting on his laurels in our garden area.
We suggest you bring your own crayon.
Poetry Contest Canceled
We have been forced to cancel the annual poetry contest as every
entry received thus far has begun with the line,"There was
a young man from Nantucket..."
Summer Concert News
Recording group, The Cabana Boys have been signed to headline at
the 2005 Summer Slugfest Concert scheduled for September 17-18.
They
will lead off the evening with their single hit "Slip, Slidin' Away."
Tennis Tutors Touted
Resort sports director Ahnold Blackkopfer has announced the hiring
of tennis pros to serve the guests for the 2005 season: pairs
champions, Ivan Kuturpekarov
and Lena Chevinova. The duo were semifinalists for a bronze medal in
the 1939 Olympic trials for Estonia. We welcome Ivan and Lena
to
the ECF family and know
they will provide our guests with plenty of athletic support and sportage.
Theatre Night
September's Dinner Theatre entree will be a trio of one act mysteries:
What's That Smell?
Who Sliced the Cheddar?
Heimlich's Maneuver
Playwright LaDonna Mobile will be available for questioning after the performance.
Resort Security Updated
Due to increasing worries of terrorist activity in Oregon, management has engaged
Phil "Six-Gun" Reeves as our new collateral damage consultant. He will
be housed in the right wing of the Bush Presidential Building, the old
Casa de Ratones.
Phil's first
act will be to implement the color coded security levels adopted this
year by ECF. Though alert level has remained steady at Puce we hope
to be prepared for any escalation toward the Mauve or even Chartreuse.
Phil will also be supervising the new guard tower and weapons room
as well as the 24 hour security gates. Please see him in the event
you miss lock up and need to get back onto resort grounds after curfew.
Lost & Found
These items have been turned in:
Car keys
Turkeys
J. Hoffa
Small unmarked grail
Pair of Dice
They can be retrieved at the rotunda.
Winner Announced!
The winner of the Cabana Boys Hostess contest has been chosen from
the ballots we received last week. This contest was a huge
fund raising success.
At one dollar per entry we received a total of $35,742 which will
be applied to the general budget for management training trips
to other
resorts world-wide.
The winner, who prefers to remain anonymous, is a member of the Langlois Ladies Relping Society. She will be providing entertainment for the Cabana Boys during their stay here in September.
Reports of vote tampering and ballot box stuffing have been greatly exaggerated and we hope the rumors of a miscount by our staff will soon be behind us.
