Editor Hospitalized
Paramedics were summoned to Evergreen Circle Farm at the close of our recent Phaseolus Phestival when newsletter editor Martha Schram was stricken with cramp. Emergency ultrasound of her lower GI tract revealed a case of severe Writer's Block.
The staph wishes Ms. Schram a phast recovery. CDs of the ultrasound entitled "Percussion and Cheerful Calliope Effects" will be in local music stores later this year.
Ongoing
Progress report: The Fall 2001 Endurance Marathon, renamed The Blackberry 1K Run - Velcro Edition continues on Mt Fmang. Several runners wearing relped sheepskin jumpsuits have been cut from competition. I.V. Payne has the lead while Hoa Phuc remains stuck in the rear. Closed circuit television coverage can be viewed in the lounge
Summer Surströmming & Salmon Feast
Tickets are now on sale for the Oregon coast's premier summer culinary extravaganza. ECF will serve as the backdrop for renowned chefs Red Coles and Barbie Kew to create taste tempting treats from our own home canned seafood. Guests will sample such ocean specialties as Tuna Estropeado and Saumons Éclatesé. Bring your appetite and proof of insurance and spend a challenging afternoon of eating. Special desserts selected from our clinically tested recipe archive of Molds will be offered.
In the words of
Emeril P'tomaine:
"Vomiterete
fino a che non moriate."
Rated R - Not for the Squeamish
ECF Airshow 2002 a Big Success
Dozens attended the ECF Airshow last December making it the largest attended event of the season. "The entire show was electrifying," said organizers Cy Clone and Harry Kane. They credit the special effects of stunt pilots Zephyr and Ty Phoon for making the Shingle Search and Rescue especially exciting.
Landings were rare but takeoffs constant as spectators gasped and held on to their hats during the Barn Razing finale marked by impromptu fireworks
Note: The resort office and anemometer have been temporarily relocated to somewhere north of Portland.
Sewage Treatment Update
The collapse of the Brad Pit last year has halted progress on our new sewage facility. Resort management has brought in an outside consultant from C.S. Pool, Ltd. to handle the growing sinkhole located just beyond the swimming pond. Signage is planned to prevent guest confusion between the two depressions.
New construction was hampered when exploratory excavations yielded fragments of porcelain tile and a hollow concrete block bearing the inscription "J. Hoffa".
We hope to have our increased septic capability in place before the Surströmming Feast in June.
March Gift Shop Sale
Don't miss the opportunity to begin your holiday shopping with our annual gift shop sale. Prices will be slashed on items in our inventory.
Worm
Castings - 1/2 off!
Blown Glass - 3 Shards for $10
Iron Solvent - $1/quart or 50¢/gal.
Grout-Green™ - 34¢ per acre-ft
2003
Sally the Dog Scratch & Sniff Calendar
on Sale Now in the Lobby Official * Authentic Find out what scent Sally has rolled in each month! |