Y2K Problems Solved
We apologize for missing the last two issues of our newsletter. In an effort to reconcile the situation we have replaced our old editorial computer, a Babbage Mark I, which has been relocated from the press room to the resort's billing department.
Winter Entertainment Lineup
Shania Twain's twin and Dr. Joyce Brothers' brother are slated to present concerts in the lounge during this coming season. Dates are still to be announced.
ECF will once more be hosting the Langlois Lecture Series. Currently signed up are Gerald Mahoney, author of "Ventriloquism for Dummies" and Curt Verbose of the Department of Redundancy Department at SWOCCSWO.
Blackberry Season
Berry season has arrived and the luscious fruit is once more on our dessert menu. Guests are enjoying the exhilarating fun of searching out and capturing the elusive delicacy across acres of ECF property.
Our head chef, Emeril P'tomaine, has created several new dishes to honor the bounteous harvest including Green Beetle Surprise and Spiderberry Crisp. Food critic Debrayh Gaylle, a recent visitor, gave rave reviews to the Blackberry Pureé stating "It is a relief to not spot the surprise."
Our soon to be published cookbook, "DeBugging Cuisine" will contain these and many more enticing recipes. A few copies of our last cookbook, "Food to Die For" are still available in the foyer.
Results of Labor Day Rat Races
1st Place: P. Barker,
Langlois, OR
2nd Place:A. Schram, Oakland, CA
3rd Place: M. Mouse, Anaheim, CA
Honorable Mention: D. Harvazinski
Withdrawing from competition: D. Sandberg, Cupertino, CA
Owner's Tour Far North
ECF owners, Martha and Chris Schram have recently returned from a trip to famed Alaska northwoods hotspot, Raven's Keep. They spent nearly two weeks in negotiations with Raven's Keep's crusty proprietor, Sourdough Kate, regarding the merger of the two facilities into the Last Resort™ franchise.
Negotiations broke down when Chris realized that in Alaska it gets dark in the winter.
On the return trip the Schrams made an unanticipated detour through Juneau where Martha visited a local health spa and "took the waters."
Arbor Day Celebration
We celebrated a late Arbor Day at ECF with the planting of a Vine Maple behind the Lodge. The tree was a contribution from recent guest Linda Clark. Tears were shed at the ceremonial planting by sentimental owner, Martha as well as by C. Rajahs of the planting crew, who put a shovel through his boot.
Brad Pit Excavation Continues
Work on the new sewage treatment facility at ECF was halted this summer due to collapse of the lead tunnel which revealed shocking archeological finds.
Evidence of prehistoric inhabitants was discovered as a hidden midden came to light in the construction debris. Experts from the University of Oregon flocked to the site to view the remains. Estimates are that they date from the Late Cloacal or Early Copraceous period.
Excavation of the finds will continue despite the pressing need to complete the pit. Interested volunteers may contact the main office for details.
ECF Theme Song Sought
We are still searching for a suitable light-hearted ditty to sing at our annual employee Guest Appreciation Dinner. Our staff was amused by contributions such as "Lonesome Town","Heartbreak Hotel", and "Third Rate Romance, Low Rent Rendezvous", but we need an original unpublished work.
C'mon folks! Tune up your instruments and get those vocal cords charged up! The chosen song will win the writer a free dinner at the Casa de Ratónes and tickets for two to any of our winter concerts.
Do Not
Ask
For Whom the Mole Tills
On your next visit to Evergreen Circle Farms be sure to stop and admire our new sunken gardens located near the main entrance.